Obsessed with Winning

Obsession is the new dedication. What once was viewed as a feverish maniacal problem is now so common that we hardly blink. I was thinking about this the other day after a conversation with a fellow soccer coach. Happily, she is of the non-maniacal variety.

It seems there is a team of 6 year old boys in our county that practices three hours a day, three days a week. That’s right, nine hours of soccer practice for kids who can’t keep their shoes tied. When asked why so much practice, one of the parents said plainly, “We want to win.” I have a hard time with this mentality, and I question who the “we” refers to. Is it the six year olds, the parents, or the coaches?

As parents, we have bit hard into success syndrome and are now sacrificing our children to the god of victory at any cost. I’ve heard that those who say winning isn’t everything never won anything. “T” shirts abound with slogans such as: “Second place is the first loser.” I am unimpressed, and I am not the only one.

William Zinsser—author and highly successful teacher—had this to say in his book On Writing Well: “We are a culture that worships the winning result: the league championship, the high test score. Coaches are paid to win; teachers are valued for getting students into the best colleges. Less glamorous gains made along the way—learning, wisdom, growth, confidence, dealing with failure—aren’t given the same respect because they can’t be given a grade.”

Is this healthy? Could it be that we are raising a generation of lopsided, one dimensional children that don’t know how to discover anything for themselves because mom and dad already have their lives planned out in advance? Vegetables are healthy. Visualizing your little boy holding up the Lombardi trophy is not—especially if he doesn’t like football.

I am for dedication—for giving one hundred percent effort. It is a part of my heritage and my Christian faith. I gnash my teeth at the halfhearted, but I strive for balance. To obsess over a single aspect—a task, a person, a hobby, the “Office” (TV show), a cause, a job—at the expense of a well rounded life holds no appeal for me.