Family Tip: How Dinner Planning Can Help

Finding families that share regular evening meals is like a very pink steak--rare. The modern dinner is wolfed down after soccer practices and before the results shows for whatever reality TV program is on the schedule. Americans are busy--yes, we know--but have we allowed an excuse to become a reason?

I believe that meals are opportunities. I can't believe I'm saying this. If I were writing this in France I would be laughed at and ridiculed with eloquent phrases we might translate: duhh! I confess that I do not admire much about the French, but they truly know how to have dinner. They care as much about the conversation as they do the food and wine. By contrast, we Americans have lost the art of having a meal.

I contend that we must resurrect the family meal for the sake of unity and communication as it was meant to be--face to face, and not with a tiny screen and keypad. It's all about priorities. Listen to author and chef, Jacques Pepin tell about his family meals: "I don't remember a time when we did not sit around the table an hour every night. It's not necessarily a pleasant conversation to recap the day, but it's necessary. Otherwise there is no communication." (Excerpt from the Reader's Digest book Wisdom, quoted in RD, Oct. 2008 pp.150)

I suggest that if parents would plan to have dinner on the table (notice I didn't say TV tray!) one half an hour earlier each night, then meals would be more relaxed, and families would see conversation improve. Furthermore, start this process while your children are young. Encourage them to express themselves and make sure to engage them on their level. If you have teenagers, sit down on Sunday and map out the meals for the week. Ask for their input on menus and times.

I know that many readers are not in "traditional" father, mother, and two point three children families any more. Some people work evenings, and so this will not work for everyone. Parents will have to come up with alternatives in such cases . But, I venture to say the majority of homes today would benefit from fewer missed opportunities to eat together.